I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
