I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
