I got chris browned last night
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
