Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
