I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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