The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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