i used baking grease as lip gloss
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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