Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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