Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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