We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
