You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
