He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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