Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
