I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
ttyl tear gas
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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