i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you inspire me to be a worse person
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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