she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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