Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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