I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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