Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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