she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
