is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
