All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
