I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
