just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
