Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
