That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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