I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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