6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
