I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
