i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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