I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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