Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
