It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
