I just threw up on my dentist
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
