I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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