therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
