Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
