remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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