You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
