he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have fence marks all over my body
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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