Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Enjoy the penises
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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