Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
