two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
