So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't think brook has ever known best
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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