Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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