Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
