I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
