I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
