nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
