Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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