Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We talked him into tasing himself.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
